I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

Greetings fellow space travellers,

Many of the peeps who pass through the Ashram, whether they stay for a long time or are just passing through, often ask the same thing of me, Mental Guru and His Holiness Sri Twangybanjo. ‘Help us,’ they all say in one form or another. ‘Help us to find ourselves.’

It is the same story almost every time, only with slightly varying circumstances. Most of them have read every book in the New Age section of the bookstore more than once, attended dozens and dozens of spiritual courses and seminars, meditated for years and years and can bend themselves into eye watering pretzel shapes thanks to years of cool and groovy yoga classes. Yet there is still something missing, there is still a void, they are still searching.

So they come to the Ashram because they have heard we can do wondrous things and they think we can finally be the ones to help them end their search.

Sadly we disappoint them every single time. In truth we don’t even try to help. In fact for a while we may make it even worse for them.

My first question back to them is usually, “How do you know you have lost yourself in the first place? Where is the evidence?” This causes some confusion initially. Then I often ask, “Do you know what it is that you think you have lost, just so that we can all set about trying to help you find it?” This deepens the confusion and spirals them into mild bewilderment and this is before His Holiness Sri Twangybanjo gets involved with his poignant questioning designed to prod and irk furthermore.

So with all this ‘searching’ that is going on, why have so few people ever become fully ‘realised’ and isn’t the desire and misconception of ‘becoming fully realised’ the very thing that started this whole shebang in the first place?

Everybody is searching and still not finding what they are looking for, and all the time we are searching we are missing who we really are, we are missing the moment. The irony is that gentle and compassionate acceptance of what and who we are and of what life shows us in each moment can bring an end to the searching anyway.

Oh how the Universe loves irony and must chuckle to itself. More on this in due course me thinks.

Peace. Om. Chaka Khan

Swami Cashinanda

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