Lay Lady Lay

I had a visit recently from a very famous celebrity. Confidentiality and respect mean I can’t tell you who she is but for storytelling purposes I will give her a name, so I’m going to call her Kate Mosh.

‘Kate’ came to me to try and help her overcome a very serious sleep disorder she had developed which meant she could only sleep if she was wearing flip flops. Not many of you will be aware of this but this is a very common disorder, affecting one in fifty Australians. One in fifty!

I immediately knew this wasn’t a sleep issue but a deeper psychological concern. In many ways Kate reminded me of myself and the difficult period of my life when I refused to take my lucky red wellies off for 22 whole months. It was only the persistent genius and effort of His Holiness Sri Twangybanjo and 12 hours locked in the Sweat Lodge that made me eventually see sense and remove my beloved boots.

While you may laugh at mine and Kate’s predicaments, perhaps you should look a bit closer before you cast the first stone. Don’t we all have some quirks, superstitions, neuroses, phobias or slightly odd behaviours? Aren’t we all creatures of habit?

We have one student here, God bless him, who has to wear his underpants over his clothes regardless of the occasion. He’s a sweet little nerdy type of guy, Clark is his name, Clark Kent. I do worry for him.

Many of our quirks are actually coping mechanisms, ways for us to deal with life and cope with our fear. They provide us with a sense of control and order in a world of chaos, even if that sense of control is essentially a false one. A person that touches their nose five times before they enter a room makes that person feel a little bit more in control over what may happen next. Sportsmen are well known for their pre-match rituals, many are even totally obsessive about them. I believe Cristiano Ronaldo has to be tickled with a feather duster for a full half hour before he will consider stepping foot on the football pitch. Go figure! Each to their own.

For me, I still use a different toothbrush for cleaning each of my individual teeth, it’s just my thang baby and I’m cool with it.

Well anyway, I told Kate all this stuff. I made her have a giggle about what curious creatures we all are and see how funny it is that we have all these strange quirks. She began to see herself in a better light and without judgement and that is one of the keys to freedom – self awareness and then not judging what we see about ourselves. Without even discussing it Kate removed all her false nails, took off all three layers of make-up she had on, then she extricated herself of all 32 of her body piercings. You know what, she looked and felt a thousand times better afterwards.

As for the flip flops, Kate’s managed to lose the flip but not the flop. Small moves.

I’m off now to make sure all the cans in the kitchen cupboard have their labels facing forwards and are lined up in colour order…………….of course I’m only joking…………………….I already did it this morning.

Peace. Om. Chaka Khan

Swami Cashinanda

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